Breathin' Easy

Mucinex is da bangins.  That is all.

Puppet Theater

I've recently taken to muting the TV while I'm doing something else in the room. It's cool, though it depends on what the program is. Certain things it doesn't work with, such as Arrested Development, where the dialogue is where a majority of the show's appeal comes from. But it's really cool if you have a super bang-em-up action movie on, like Terminator or something.

I was doing this just now. Ronin was on some local channel and I had it on mute while I was surfing the web. A really good part came on and I decided to unmute it, and realized that "some local channel" was actually Telemundo. Kind of ruined it for me.

Also, isn't it cool when you see an actor in one commercial that you've seen in other commercials before? It connects you to them, in a way. I saw the weird roommate from the Sprint "Fav 5" commercials in a Mastercard commercial, and I just saw some dude in a medicine commercial pretending to be a magician that I'm sure I've seen somewhere else.

Anyway, got to go. Seinfeld's on mute.

What the Hell Happened to GI Joe?

Blue Sparks

Today I saw saw my very first New York City street fight. Well, fight isn't really being fair. It was one guy literally beating the piss out of the other guy. Something about disrespek or peeps, or whatever. There were a lot of things being yelled.

Watching someone's skull bounce between a fist and the sidewalk really helps you put your own problems in perspective.
"Crap, I'm broke. O well, at least my head's ok."
"My car broke down, but my jaw's not broken."
"They found the body. But hey, is the head still on? It is? Shit, they can identify it. OK man, I need you to do me a solid. Get your mom's car. No, the one with the big trunk. Dude, come on, this is when friends need friends. Please? Come on man, I'd do it for you. Fine, you're such a dick. Let me just borrow her car then?"

Also, I played Mario Kart: Double Dash for the first time since freshman year tonight, and apparently, I don't suck anymore! Certainly, I am by no means up to T8 Quad standards of play, but the Double Dasher I was is no longer the Double Dasher I am today.

A thought

Has anyone else noticed that the female Zwinky dolls have HUGE boobs? Like, DD.

I Now Pronounce You Babydaddy and Babymomma

I was thinking today about wedding dresses for pregnant women. Hey, Alabama girls deserve to look pretty on their big day, too. Is there a secret industry of pregnant wedding dresses that we just don't hear about? Someone has to make them, right? I mean, it's not like they just let the normal ones out. Does one specialize in just pregnant wedding dresses, or are pregnant wedding dresses a subset of a wedding dress designer's catalogue? Are they custom made for each bride, or do they have a series of dress templates that they adjust for the brides? Should the child be allowed at the altar? Do they make fake teeth sets for the husband and bride's photo shoot? Are mullets taken into account for husbands? What about the #8 Earnhardt patch he wants to put across his back?

Someone has to think about this stuff for a living.

On Wii Play and Racism

Nintendo has a game out called Wii Play that consists of 7 or 8 different games, arranged similarly to Wii Sports, except these games are all mostly just for fun. Theres Tanks, Pose Mii, Table Tennis, and Charge! (Where you ride a cow. It's awesome.)

But there's one game in particular I want to address, called Find Mii. From Wikipedia:

Crowds of Mii characters will gather on the screen, standing, swimming, walking and doing other things, and the player is given certain details to look for among them. The player then must pick out the Miis that match the objective. The objectives range among finding two to five identical Miis; finding the fastest Mii; choosing a favorite and finding it again; or finding the "odd Miis out" (doing things that other Miis aren't).

It seems innocent enough, but this game is a thinly veiled attempt to encourage audience onlookers to participate in extreme racism. And it succeeds. Multiple times in the game, I heard multiple phrases which left me aghast, mostly at the fact that I found myself to be the one saying them. Among them,

The Jew in the bottom right!
The black chick with the fro!
The old bitch with the frown!
The guy with the chinky eyes!

I found myself surprised to be saying these things, but there I was, glued to the screen in total concentration. It is a simple enough premise, yet is absolutely fucking impossible to get any kind of grip on, let alone master. You start off with four Miis, looking for the two twins. Easy enough. Then there's six Miis walking across the screen on a crosswalk, and you have find the fastest one. (Hint: He's running.) Kid stuff. All of a sudden, you'll be presented with a screen filled with roughly 30 Miis swimming, riding an ecalator, running across traffic, and you have to find the one whose step is out of line with everyone else's. It's the only game that has actually made me stand up and scream at the television in a long, long time. And I wasn't even playing.

Also, I played Rock Band. It sucks.